Posted by: Stacey Maka
In school we learn how to multiply, about Christopher Columbus’ discoveries, how the periodic table works, how to make a gargoyle with paper mache, etc. But we were rarely taught about real life situations or about what to expect once you enter into adulthood. These are just some of my observations and realizations so far that I never heard as a student.
Boy Band Boys Don’t Exist
It’s hard not to be charmed by a guy who serenades you with lyrics like “I’ll never break your heart, I’ll never make you cry” (-Backstreet Boys). In my 90s generation, boy bands such as *Nsync and 98 Degrees were our untouchable boyfriends and practically our rated PG-13 escorts. They told us what we wanted to hear to made us feel good, sometimes gave us a little shirtless show, then afterwards took our money, emotions, and ran. I now like the whole concept of boy bands being THE ultimate dream boys in our lives as young girls (or guys). They did help us get a head start into finding what we liked but at the same time left us all confused once we got out into the real world of dating. The “perfect” guy with all the right things to say doesn’t naturally exist (known as “smooth talkers” but every smart girl knows to not be fooled). But the right guy for you doesn’t have to say swavey things to impress and steal your heart away. Actions do speak louder than words. So a warning to the new generation out there and with the return of the boy bands such as One Direction; don’t be fooled by their swanky lyrics and cuteness for they’re just like every other young boy out there, naive hormonal crazed beasts!
Save! Save! SAVE!
Anything is possible: You move out, pay for college/university, start your own business, buy a car, buy a house, get married, or start a family. Even though you’re not even close to any of those it doesn’t hurt to just save any money you make now. I think not saving earlier is one of our biggest regrets. It’s fine to spurge and reward yourself once in awhile with more of your wants than needs, but always remember to put away that money too. We don’t think it’s important when we’re younger to save much because when we get our first job we’re excited about just even having our own money and being able to buy anything without parental permission that we often take it far and forget to save. If only they kept reinforcing this into our heads growing up, it could have changed a lot of lives. Saving accounts can be quite amazing. If you just leave it alone and let your money grow, then next time you check up on it you’re in for a treat.
Your Social Life And Status Isn’t Everything
“Blame the media” is a cliché but movies and television do put these ideas in our heads of what we should look like, be like, and have in our lives. We all have tried it at some point as a teen to fit in with a clique we thought was cool. And if you passed all tests and got accepted as one of them sometimes it was hard to decide if you really wanted to stay or leave. There were those who just continued to be what they’re supposed to be even if they weren’t happy, but there were also those who broke away and stuck to their gut with being their unique selves. You may lose friends but if they can’t accept you for who you really are then they weren’t truly your friends to begin with. The clique we belonged to was so important and continues to be for teenagers till this day. But even if you were one of the popular kids in high school it was all forgotten once you graduated. In the working world no one cares about who you were back then, who your friends were, how you dressed or what music you listened to. Growing out of that confusing time made us realize that being popular wasn’t the world. It is what we make of ourselves that counts. If I could go back in time and talk to 16 year old me I would tell her to stop worrying about not fitting in…and do your homework.
Being In Your 20s Are The Most Difficult Times
Having a quarter-life crisis is the new mid-life crisis. Being in your 20s is that awkward puberty stage all over again but without the training bras and discovering hair growing in places they never did before. It’s all about finding your place in life. You’re not a kid anymore, but you’re not a full grown adult either so with that being said you still make a ton of stupid *** decisions. You’re still figuring out who you are, who your friends are, where your relationship is going, and questioning if what you’re doing now is the right career decision for you or if you need to go back to school again. And you do all of this aggressive thinking while working at a crappy job that pays peanuts. Overall it’s just a horrible time as a young adult. And it’s hard to not be discouraged when you see someone around your age find their luck and fortune in a career they enjoy. Don’t feel as if you’re the only one out there who hasn’t figured it out and got it all together because those lucky ones who do are rare (and if they didn’t have rich parents to support them then they worked hard and earned it so you can too!). We definitely have those days where everything seems impossible, but the best thing you can do is use those successful people for inspiration and keep a positive outlook that things will turn out, because they will if you believe they will.
*Nsync image via sodahead.com, Abraham Lincoln bill image via freemoneyformulax.com, Clueless image via merigoesround.com, and 13 Going On 30 image via filmfresh.com.
Most of us have found and moulded our friendships that we still have to this day from elementary school and high school. And as life goes on, everyone graduates/gets jobs, and eventually some of you lose touch with each other. However, there are the few that you at least try to see regularly or on the little free time you have. With these friends that you do continue to grow with sometimes things change along the way too, and they often do. Into your 20s you are developing as a young adult figuring out your needs and wants constantly. There are a few friends I needed a break from or in some cases just had to drop. It is a weird feeling knowing this friend you once couldn’t get enough of and shared so many experiences with just isn’t doing it for you anymore. We use this excuse of, “but I’ve known them forever,” to try to convince ourselves this is why we should keep them in our lives. We keep this debate and just stick it out, but the fact is we are making it worse on ourselves, and it’s also unfair to your friend that you feel this way about. They might think everything is ok but behind their back you’re complaining about them to others. So first things first, talk to your friend and if that doesn’t help and things just aren’t going to work out…you need to dump them. I mean with any type of dumping, they are no pretty results (literally).
