17, 09, 2014

Going the Distance (Part 2)

Two years ago I wrote my thoughts on long distance relationships, and it might have left on a sour note… The truth was at that time I had ended a 2 year long distance “relationship” with someone from another country. In the end, it didn’t work out the way I imagined since we both had two different paths into the future. But that was the past- and now that I have a more clear and open-mind again, I thought it’s time for an update and my thoughts now on LDRs.
We are very lucky to live in a crazed high-tech world. Situations that were once impossible are now very possible. Having a LDR may still not be that conventional, but falling in love can bloom anywhere at anytime. With the way LDRs are going, distance may not seem so far away as we thought.

Deciding to go the distance? Or already in a LDR? Well there are a few things you need to keep in mind to maintain this unfortunate (but worthwhile!) situation.

Both of you are on the same page
It’s true, this can only work if both of you have the same ideas of what you want in a relationship. In this type of relationship you need to know where everything is going, or at least have an idea of where you want it to be going. So discussions about many future plans of how you both will make this work will be talked about pretty early and quite often. The real key here is having amazing communication with each other. Alignment helps this relationship work.

Use your words
“Express yourself, don’t repress yourself” (I just had to use the Madonna reference lol). If you’re not usually a lovey-dovey type of person to begin with, you will eventually learn how to unleash your inner cheeseball, and that’s not necessarily always a bad thing! Since you are not always physically around your beau, expressing in words how you feel are the next best thing. Don’t keep it in, let them be aware of what’s on your mind and how you feel.

Find the time to make it work
Let’s face it, life gets in the way, but there will and always will be a time to make room for your guy/gal. Whether is be a one week visit, or an hour phone call- it is possible to make the time for them. If you want it to work, you will put as much effort as you can for it to work. Bringing me to the next point…

Share your world
Sending photos and videos are such a norm that it’s basically all we all do now. Smartphones have taken over as our computers, so it’s easy to be on the go while carrying your “life” around. Whatsapp, Skype, Facetime, Google Hangouts- just to name a few make communication with each other so easy nowadays.

And for those of you in a LDR, it takes a lot of effort but don’t loose hope! Everything will fall into place when it’s the right time.

10 responses to “Going the Distance (Part 2)”

  1. Monika says:

    Aw I loved this post! I’m in a LDR (currently staying with my boyfriend) and I really wonder how people who don’t like to communicate via phone/skype/text messages can be in a LDR. I’ve read from several people whose partner are like that and I feel so bad for them because as you say, it’s important to share our lives and it’s horrible if the other person rarely wants to communicate with you!

    I’m glad you’ve changed your opinion 🙂

    • I’m glad you liked my post! And you’re very right about the other person not liking to communicate this way which is very confusing on many levels lol but well it happened to me when my partner at the time I wrote my first LDR post started to give up.
      Anyways I’m glad I changed my opinion too because I’ve been in a new LDR for almost a year now and I couldn’t be happier!
      Love when I meet other ladies like you who are going through this! That’s awesome that you’re staying with your beau 🙂 all the better to spend your time together wisely <333

      • Monika says:

        Oh cool that you’re in a happy LDR! Where do you and your partner live? 🙂 How often do you see each other?
        Yes I also love to see other people who are in a LDR, I think it’s encouraging to know that there are others going through the same!
        hihi yeah :)) <3

        • I’m in Canada and he’s in Spain, we’re still trying to figure somethings out of where to settle together so that’s the difficult part but I’m sure you know! Where are you and your partner from?
          We understand and have a bond with each other because we all know how hard it can be but also so special when you finally get to see them <333

          • Monika says:

            Interesting combination! I assume you communicate in English? Is he from Spain?
            My boyfriend is from and lives in Uruguay and I live in Germany/Switzerland!
            Are you planning to move together soon? 🙂
            Yes!! You’re absolutely right :)) <3

          • Yes he’s from Spain and we speak in English, but I can also speak Spanish we just started speaking in English so that’s where it stayed hahah. Getting work in Spain is difficult as you know so he’s trying to come here for work instead.
            How about you and your boyfriend? What language do you communicate in??
            Wow you are quiet the distance as well!

          • Monika says:

            cool that you could technically communicate in two languages! It’s great that you’ve already figured out where you’ll live together. I’ve never been to Canada but I think it’s a beautiful country!
            We communicate in Spanish. At the very beginning we wrote in English because my Spanish was quite rusty but it gradually changed haha

          • Hehe we didn’t figure out where yet for sure since I would like to try a new city so we are looking for all best options still. Canada is beautiful and very peaceful but I still want to try something new haha
            Are you going to be moving to Uruguay? It’s great you can communicate in Spanish now! Yea I think you can learn a lot once you have a boyfriend who can speak a language you want to learn hahah btw, sorry if you saw my comment that wasn’t edited..I was using my voice keyboard and it chouldn’t read my voice so it was typing all crazy things!

          • Monika says:

            A new city sounds exciting 🙂 Canada sounds like Switzerland in a bigger scale to me haha. I guess it’ll be a great experience to have a fresh somewhere together!

            Nooo, I definitely couldn’t live in Uruguay. Fortunately my boyfriend wants to move to Europe but we’ll still wait until it’s time to decide which country. I lived in Uruguay one year before coming together with my bf but thanks to him I’m using Spanish regularly haha.

            don’t worry, I only got the edited comment 🙂

  2. […] So where did I meet these guys? Honestly I’ve never used a site or app that was specifically for online dating. Once I pasted my early teen chat days I simply met new people though friendly messages on MySpace, Livejournal, Facebook, and language exchange websites/apps (if you didn’t know I learned Japanese and Spanish on my own). I’ve reached and have been reached out by guys just a neighbourhood away and even as far as Europe and Asia (you can read about my LDRs here and here). […]

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